sulisvision weblog

Recent happening: lots have happened in the last few weeks. A bunch of people who I haven’t talked to in forever suddenly popped back in. it was nice to hear from them all but it was really a huge reminder of every mistake I have ever made in my life. It is nice to know that even if I make mistakes that people will forgive me but hey the question is will I forgive myself.

Been spending a lot of time with family and friends. Trying to build back the relationships I let slide in the last few years. My children are loving having their mommy back. I have been homeschooling them while I have tried to find a school for them but time is running out. I need to have them in school by Tuesday or I am in big trouble.

Which reminds me my lovely job is once again screwed up. I got a really good raise on my yearly review which was a good thing, but then again they have screwed up my paycheck the last 3 or 4 times. Nothing like not knowing weather you will have enough money to pay for your rent or not. Which reminds me.

For those of you who do not know, I have my own place now, I moved about a block away from my work into a lovely townhouse on the greens of nice golf course. It’s a three-bedroom 2 bath 2 car garage, which is pretty close to the size of the house I shared with Talent. The children live with me and are doing great. The neighborhood is much nicer, so they can actually go outside and play. We all roller blade, bike and scooter around and around the little cul-de-sac where our house is and sometimes even around the little block our building is on.

We don’t have much furniture but its cool we have each other and that’s what is really important. When I read them the bedtime story at night and say their prayer with them I feel so blessed to have them in my life. They are what I live for. I know that now more then ever. Without them life would be empty and not worth living.

Ok now back to work: well the project I work on has declined to renew the contract and so they are fazing us out. Needless to say that has meant a lot of changes in the past few weeks. They have downsized around 250 people. The rest of us they have decided to cram in to the morning shifts. So now I have to work days again. As it was with me working graves my children didn’t even know I went to work. But know they will need to go to school and daycare. This makes me sad but its only 4 days a week so I guess it will be ok. My new schedule is 6-5 m-w,f which means I have Thursday and the weekend off. I am hoping more people leave because the schedule I really want is 6-5 m-th with f-sun off. It would be nice to have 3 day weekend every week. So that’s what is happening at work there is a lot more politics involved right now but its not something I could really post in public.

On the social front, I am keeping busy. Between playing with the kids and having my friends over or going out with my friends I am staying busy. Was invited to brunch today but prolly wont go as I am kinda looking forward to getting some programming done and am not really feeling social at this time.

BabyD has been a doll and got me something to keep me busy. A new project which looks like a excellent challenge for my skills. He has also been so nice as to bring me a dell laptop to help me get this project done. This thing has everything I could have hoped for in a computer including a dvd player. So know you should see a lot my work from me because I can do some of it at work. Thanks again BabyD for everything you are an awesome friend and I hope I can be there for you as much as you have been there for me in the past couple of years. Yup scarey we have almost been friends for 2 years now. How time flies. Miss you a lot when you are not around wish I had more time to call you. I really miss spending hours just talking. You always make me see things from completely different angels. You have also never judged me for my thoughts or actions. Even when I know you didn’t agree with them. Patience is one of your greatest virtues.

I have tried to remove myself from the drama surrounding my day to day life but it doesn’t always work that way. I want to say Poma I love you and care for you I hope you know that. You will always be my “little girl” Please stay focused on where you are going and good luck on getting into Berkley. I believe in you. Now you just have to truly believe in yourself. Whatever I can do to help you with this tell me. But I do not want any part in the drama. I am here for you if you truly need me but don’t abuse it my heart can only take so much. Take care of him because now you are almost all he has. Make him happy and I know he will do his best to make you happy.

Sif, this too shall pass. We start our new team on Monday and I am very glad to see that you are once again on my team. I hope that this new schedule will allow you the means to have a life that you could not have before due to having to work during prime dating hours. I wish you luck in everything you do.

Lexa, what can I say but sorry for not writing sooner. Havent know what to say really. You are a wonderful friend and I cherish your opinions but I am trying to keep things between us. I don’t want you in the middle no matter how impartial you are and I know that you are. I just don’t think you need that and I don’t want either of us to be mad at you for anything. Putting a friend in the middle no matter how well intentioned is a big mistake in my book. I care about our friendship way to much to jeapordize it in that way. We will find another way, don’t worry. And in case I did not say it before CONGRATULATIONS on the new house. I am soooo very happy for you. I know it was something you desperately needed. Thank you for being there for Talent.

To my lildrunkcwby, it was nice to hear from you again. You haven’t changed a bit. Take care of this legal shit you have gotten yourself into. Your children need you. You are no good to either of them drunk and on the run. Your family loves you very much, this is hurting them terribly. Time to grow up and face your decisions. Start making the right ones if not for yourself at least for you son and daughter. You know I will always love you. If you need someone to talk to you know now how to get a hold of me.

Tal, I want to say that as of late it has been wonderful talking to you again. I feel the old friendship coming back and that makes me very happy. I love to see you becoming your old self again. Spending time with your friends and being active is a good thing for you. It is really bringing back the beautiful man I fell in love half a lifetime ago. Keep up the good work talk to you soon.

Digital_Zephyr I don’t know how I can thank you and your family for everything you have done. You have given me back my self confidence, my self respect and my children. Both of you have given me the inspiration to be a better parent and a better person. To see you smile makes me happy inside. I think you know how I feel and I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you work so hard to do for me and the kids. For those of you who don’t know He and his family are responsible for me having almost everything I currently have. They believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. They passed no judgement either way and allowed me to choose what I wanted to do and helped me as much as they could. Which includes babysitting and my new car. (ford escort x2z little red family sports car) Its soooooo me. Thank you again.

Well there are more things I want to say but I think for now that will be a long enough post. Talk again soon. Love and kisses sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 1/28/2001 04:53:00 PM