hey guys well the last couple of days have pretty much sucked. Have had a migraine that made me feel at times like I wanted to stick my head through a wall but I have managed to survive pretty much. The tongue piercing is feeling almost healed although I burnded my tongue pretty bad about 3 days ago and it still hurts. Got to learn that the metal in my mouth transfers heat and cold pretty damn well. Love the piercing though already playing with it.
I had a test friday I surprised myself and despite of being unable to study because it hurt to read and having a hard time taking the test because the balck text on white paper made my head feel like it was gonna pop off I recieved the top score. It wasnt a great score but the test was a bitch. But the class is right up my alley. I love system analysis, I think I may be the only one that does. The teacher really pissed me off last night. I was working on our projects and he made everyone else stay until I was done. T (the ice cream one) ticked me off too. I know he was pissed at having to stay but he says out loud "Well, if someone had been working on their classwork all week we wouldn't be here right now!" ihad that headache and at that time I just wanted to punch him through the fucking wall. Its not my fucking fault I like to do things right or that the fucking teacher decided to show us how much power he has over us and make everyone stay because of me. I really like the teacher but sometimes he really pisses me off.
Ok (cleansing breathe) on to the next subject. I lost my prized silver rat. I came home to find him dead it was very sad. Unfortunetly with rats its a fact of life. Despite the fact that they survive almost everywhere its simply because of shear numbers they are remarkably fragile creatures prone to infections and genetic diseases.
I want to say congrats to ComicD he got a new job and a new car all in the same day. Pretty cool if you ask me. Goes to show a little positive action goes a long way. Now if I can just get him to study we should be set. giggles. Please don't hurt me, you know I love ya ComicD.
Also I started working on the thunder manufacturing page and my friend Opie designed some flash for the site that is freaking awsome. He is kindly agreed to help me with redesigning this site. I am working on making it a little easier for me to update so I can work on it even when I am away from home. Oh that reminds me I know you guys prolly hate these free stuff but I got my free domain name for the site from www.namezero.com so now you can get to my site by typing www.sulisvision.com. So check it out you'all.
ok well that is all I can think about right now I may post again later we will have to see. Kisses to everyone out their who has been so incredibly patient with me while life has been in control of my free time.Really life is getting real close to becomming normal again. Hey 30 years is not too long to finally get your act together. ok I'm off to bed night!
Went to see X-men the movie today. Go see it! I mean really it was great. I loved the special effects and if you are fan of the comic you will love it even more because of the little inside stuff. You'll recognize people as the cameo it was cool. I am gonna buy it on DVD well as soon as I buy myself a DVD player that is.
The car started overheating on the way to the movie and that really sucked. Because I was worried all the way home that it was gonna hit the red I hate that. I am seriously thinking about selling all of our 4 cars and buying a fucking new one. I am sooo tired of worring about shit. Oh well! I prolly wont get enough to buy more then a freaking yugo with the 4 vehicles I currently own. Anyways.
Spent yesterday in a really bad mood almost so bad I for once in my life didn't want to see my brother ian. He has 3 beautiful boys and he seems really happy I just didn't fell real social. It was really nice to see him again it has been really too long. My kids didn't even recognize their uncle.
Made me wonder why it is that we all run away from the people we love when we don't want them to see when we fall on our faces. I mean we try to keep people from seeing us fall and then we wonder why they don't help us when we are down. Its because we push everyone away when we need them the most. I guess what I am saying is PRIDE is out biggest downfall as humans. Our pride kills our relationships and prevents us from getting really close to those we truly love.
The problem with this is that even though I know this I still do it. I can't help myself. I don't mean to do it it just gets out of control.
Anyways, thats all for right now I might write more tonight we'll see.
Just a quick not here. I just wanted to thank everyone who has put up with my moodiness lately. I know I have been a real fucking bitch lately. Sorry also to babyD, its PMS I swear look at the moon it will prove it. That prolly the last time you will hear me say sorry for my atittitude so remember I said it. I will write more when I get it all straight in my head but suffice to say thank you for putting up with me I really appreciate it.
LeXa love ya babe and thanks for letting me rant in my room today I appreciate it. I needed to get it off my chest. Your a doll
Sorry I haven't posted recently. Haven't been home much. Lately I have been just trying to make it through the day.
Personally I think it is a horrible way to live. So I have been working on making myself happier. I think what was happening, was I was comming to and end to a phase of my life and was unsure of where I was going from there. Don't get me wrong I know where I am going in some senses its just that nothing is exactly how I would like it to be. I feel like I am slipping away from friends and family. I don't know why that is but I find that I am having a really hard time dealing with people. I just have no tolorence for the usual family guilt trips, the friends who seem to only be around when they need something and people who can't be fucking honest about anything.
Maybe, as the guys at work are so fond of throughing back in my face, my job has jaded me. (like the big white boy keeps saying damn I wish I could figure out how to get the jade out of me so I can sell it)I don't know I just feel like everything is changing. I'm turning 30, 42 days. I still feel like I am 18. My 20's passed me in a haze of children and marriage and joy and pain. My life is just now finally comming into its own. I am starting to feel like everything is comming close to comming together for me.
So why do I feel so alone. I feel like noone understands how I feel and noone gives a shit about how I feel either. I know whine whine whine. Fuck! I don't want to whine I just want to know that people have my back. That when things get tough that those people that I have always been around for are gonna be there for me. What is so much to ask for that I want the people in my life to tell me that they are not gonna walk away anytime soon. That they are not gonna turn there back on me when I need them the most. I guess I am feeling like life is starting to get good and if I know one thing about my life I never cease to pay for the good things that happen in my life. Something bad is gonna happen and its gonna happpen soon.
Ok that enough ranting for today. Well maybe not just got to talking with T and he told me that kat went to the reunion and didnt talk to anyone. Damn people are people why should anyone feel like they are not good enough to talk to someone else. Its funny even 10 years later she can still feel the angst she felt in high school. Why? Can anyone explain this to me.
<<>>> Well anyways a very old friend whom I will call brother ian called today breaking a 2 year silence between our houses. It was wonderful to hear his voice and to know that he is doing well and happily (finally) married with children. He was the only person I know my age that actually was in pain because he couldnt find the right girl to do the marriage family thing with. A guy who wanted responsibity. Man can I tell some stories about his search tactics (always looking for love in all the wrong places) but whats past is past. Now is what is inportant and he sounds like he is doing good.
Luck and safety to Mas and congrats on getting your wings back. Nothing better then being in the blue. Good luck in school and please come home in one piece. I just hate funerals. So watch what the heck you are doing. No mistakes. But I know you are perfect so I shouldn't have to worry about you. Right? Right?
one last thing: those of you not on my list serve and not part of the girl2 community please listen up:
Most of you out here Know everything that is going on over at Girl2.
Soul has just informed me that as of Aug1 the server and basically
life as we know it in the Girl2 universer will cease to exist if they
don't find an invester right away.
SO!! How can you help? Well talk to your friends and neighbors the
company is an excellent upstart and needs investors. We are not
talking about throwing money away or offering charity. We are talking
about investing in a company with great potential. Therefore I BEG
YOU PLEASE do whatever you can to get the word out that DotPublishing
needs investors.
IF anyone wants more information please refer people to the websites:
www.thirty-days.com
www.dotpublishing.com
thanks in advance and hope everything works out.
kisses and loves to everyone. You guys are the best...
sulis
oh yeah almost forgot I got my tongue pierced. Almost cried because I missed the whole thing. I was listening to the piercer and didn't notice the needle going through or the jewlrey being threaded. but its pretty and I love it. heres a pic bye again 
