sulisvision weblog

Whew the assignment is over and thanks to everyone on the team especially opie cause "hes the man" we got an A the highest grade in the class. Whooop!!!!1 fuck ya We beat the BigD and BabyD hehehehehehehehehehhe!!!!!!!!!

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/03/2000 07:24:00 PM

Lets see i stayed up all night doing homework trying desperatly not to think about all the things floating around in my head. It didnt work so about 6am I gave up and handed the reigns over to opie. I took a shower and got dressed and headed towards school for todays microsoft ME seminar. IT was boring as hell but I got some stuff that should help me a little in supporting ME now that we are shipping it with our new Pavilion models.

Talents rat Fat rat had her babies today Hope to have a video of that and the other nights storm up as soon as it gets ripped. The storm was beautiful and all her pink little babies where neat to see .

well I guess it is time to go to class talk to yall laters. kisses

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/01/2000 05:55:00 PM

Today has been pretty much sucky. I slept for like 24 hours the day before and All day today I have felt yucky. I didnt know what it was till this evening. A friend playing around bit me and I just started crying. I know I must have made that person feel bad I didnt mean to. All the pent up emotions for the last months all let go partially anyways. I just sat there like an idiot crying and sniffeling and makeing all kinda of ungodly noises that you end up making when you really cry really hard. My makeup must have been everywhere. All i know is I was suddenly just crying mad. Mad at the world, mad at my friends, mad at my family mad at everything. I just hurt. So I grabbed my stuff and left. Even knowing that person was very upset I had to go.

So I drove around for a few hours crying and trying to gather my thoughts. I knew if I came straight home I would say things to Talent that I didnt mean just to hurt him. I was sooo angry I am still so angry I just dont know what to do.

I mean what the fuck did I do to deserve to have everyone I love leave me. What did I do that everytime I start feeling like life is starting to get better I get kicked in the teeth. I know I have no room to bitch I mean Dad and Natasha are dealing with losing their mortality and here I am bitching about missing them as if to say HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME!!!! Like they are dieing to spite me to leave me alone like everyone else has in my life.

see how stupid it sounds when you put it that way. Almost rediculous. But for that moment in time it makes such perfect sense. My throat hurts and my eyes burn for crying so much and i can feel that there will be alot more to come. So please I know you guys have been so patient with me in the past I know i have not put in as much time into this, the cam, and you all as i should. I am trying I just need to deal with life right now. Right now its more then i can handle.

Please to the rest of the group GET ALONG dammit! And sorry PoMa I drove around so long I never made it to visit you. Prolly best that I didnt I would not have been good the both of us in a FUCK the world mood.

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/01/2000 02:52:00 AM