Side One: Submissive and bi wants the poly lifestyle. Misses living in a home with the girls and our Daddy. Misses having my sisses with me everyday and everynight. Misses having all that love and attention 24/7. Side Two: Dominant and hetero wants ONE and only ONE man, wants the fairy tale love afair where the guy is sooooooo in love with the woman that she is his only need. His reason for everything he does.
PoMa and I where talking about it and I know i need to make a decision about who I am and what the fuck i want. Iam not happy the way things are. She made a good point that this is one of those things that I am gonna have to compromise on. But i need to know how much i can compromise before I hurt myself. I know that when I am in a poly house I feel alot of jealousy because of need number 2. I have always felt soooo inferior to the other woman in my life. Like i was always about to lose the love of my life to one of them. its and annoying and painful way to live.
One the other hand I know that their is no such thing as a fiary tale ending to anything. And the odds are Daddy is not and will never be sooooo in love with me that I am the sun and moon to him. Not saying he does not love me becuase I know he does no matter how annoying or how much of a jerk he can be I KNOW he loves me. He shows me in a million different ways. That does not make it easier when he is tearing my heart out and feeding it to me.
So what should I do? How do i reconsile 2 things on opposite poles? What do I lose in the compromise? HELP the whole in my chest is getting deeper and the pain is getting harder to deal with. How do I make myself happy? Anyone have any good ideas?
