sulisvision weblog

Thanks to Nicole I have a bunch of good leads on jobs. I prolly will be sending out more and more resume's over the next couple of weeks. Wish me luck!!

good luck Tats!!

well i am exhausted I am heading to bed kisses and love sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/18/2000 10:34:00 AM

Well guys, I need your help. I need to change my hours around and in doing so I am gonna have to take a cut in pay. I can't afford that right now so if any of you know of any job openings that pay well in the Phoenix area. Or and I would really like this, If you know of any freelance work I can do from my home computer. I can do or I can learn to do just about anything. Any help you guys could give me would be wonderful.

oh btw congrats to tats on the job offers. You go GIRL! Keep up all the hard work it will pay off eventually. We are all proud of all of you for sticking to what you believe in.

well I don't really have much to say today feeling better, miss yall kisses.sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/17/2000 09:38:00 PM

Hello again, Hope everyone is doing well and is happy. Been one of those days today. Had a really hard time breathing had to use some meds to keep from turning blue, the shit taste yucky but hey what can you do.

Had a really nice chat with my buddies and was able to say some thing that I have been holding inside for a long time. It was nice to talk to someone who doesn't think I am insane. Made me think about my beliefs and what I wanted out of life. Scared the hell out of me to be honest. Got a little manic for a bit. But I am doing better now. Just got worried I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. Lost focus for a bit.

So what is it that I am so focused on. Well I am just trying to right some major mistakes I have made over the years and hey when you have this big of a karmic lesson to learn it doesn't come easy. This sight was the first step in that healing. Having a place to say my piece to allow me to show my artistic side. Been drawing a lot lately mostly clothes and architectural items hopefully will get them scanned before too long.

So does anybody have a clue as how to extricate yourself from situations that are bad for you with out getting rid of the people involved? Is it possible to do?

Oh I am thinking about going to the Snake River soon. Sounds like fun they have a little casino out there and the Colorado River it's only about 2 hours away and it will be nice to drive somewhere and do something fun for a change. Won't know until I get all the bills taken care of but I hope to go soon. I wanted to rent a houseboat for my birthday but it doesn't look like anyone is gonna have time to celebrate with me. Oh and BabyD you did miss my last birthday party and it WAS your fault. Giggles j/k.

Thought for the day: Why is it that as humans we have such a hard time being true to ourselves? "you can't please everyone so be true to yourself" Hell what am I talking about there is so much I don't even remember about myself. How do I get that back? How do I find out where I am lost? Is it worth it to do it?
So many questions and unfortunately way too few answers are to be found. But on the bright side, I am learning new things every day. My biggest lesson would be to know that I have wonderful loving friends. Ones who are very smart and remind me that sometimes what I really need to do are: "Step back, take a deep breath, relax for a second." Guys no matter what I say or do please know in your heart that I love you all and I can only thank god for all of you. Without you I don't know where I would be right now.

Today's song is "I need you" by Leann Rhimes. Kisses and love Sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/17/2000 09:02:00 AM

Hmmm what to say, today was a pretty eventful day I learned patience today. And I really needed it. I have had less and less as time has gone by. I don't know why. Partially because I am fucking sick again which sucks because I don't have time or money to see a doctor. I have plurase and it makes my chest feel like I am having a heart atack all the damn time. Makes me feel like I can't breath. I haven't slept much because its uncomfortable to lay down.

But anyways, so I looked for a loan to pay off some bills. And tried to get things set up for the next school year. One line after another it truly sucked but such is life.

Well over the next couple of weeks I have a few things I am working on accomplishing, get a new job, get at least 3 certs pass this 502 class god I hate the instructor he doesn't listen to anyone in the class at all and he is boring as hell. I think he just works here because he doesnt have anything better to do and this place will pay him money to talk about alot about a bunch of bullshit.

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/15/2000 09:52:00 PM

The perfect man

What is the perfect man? All little girls have a fantasy of who "THE PERFECT MAN" is and I am no different in that respect. Ever since I was a young girl I have known what I am looking for but to be honest I think HE is a myth. No one man can live up to everything in my mind, heart and soul. But here is my "PERFECT MAN" story.

The story is twofold. I have dreamed of a person all my life. For as long as I can remember I have felt this person in my dreams, saw his face when I dreamed, and dare I say it even played with myself to thoughts of him. He is not "THE PERFECT MAN" but he is my dream man. In real life he is more then I can handle for any one length of time but I love him anyway. Just knowing he is out there makes life seem a little less hard to deal with when times get hard.

I remember meeting him the first time. I couldn't believe my eyes. Here he was and I was actually sitting there in front of him. I was in awe and from that point on did whatever I could to make him mine. God I can't believe I am really saying this it makes me sound psycho. I am sure he can tell you stories of psychotic sulis but that's a whole other story. I don't think he ever knew why I feel so strongly about him. It was way too much for a man to live up to. God knows he tried. All I know is feelings that strong are hard to deal with and almost impossible to live with on a day to day basis.

Which brings me to my disclaimer: The following description is a fantasy man and only a fantasy man. Any similarities between this description and a real live breathing human male is well frankly BULLSHIT but if he does exist please give him my email I would love to talk to a real live GOD. That having been said here goes.

THE PERFECT MAN ACCORDING TO SULIS!

Damn this is hard there are so many things that make a perfect man to me. Well excuse the disjointed pattern you are about to see directly into my mind and it isn't a pretty thing.

He is strong in mind, body and actions.

Physically I prefer white boys. Mostly blondes, but any hair color as long as its natural and looks nice on them are good. Thanks to one devil of man I have a weakness for goatees and baldheaded men but then again I like clean but a longhaired men too it just depends on if the style suits them. I really love eyes they have to be expressive. And I really like light eyes or odd colors (natural) or designs (like flecks or double irises) Hmmm teeth, they have to be clean and white and a little crooked, perfect teeth look fake. I like pretty boys mostly the ones that look like angels on earth. Body wise I like muscular men. They don't have to have a perfect body but they need to be strong. Personally I don't mind a little belly as long as the guy is comfortable with it and doesn't obsess about it. And for those of you who are wondering as far as sex equipment go I have no preference as long as you know how to use everything god gave you. Oh and you have to smell good. That is the most important thing. If you smell bad you could be Adonis and the most gorgeous man on earth and it isn't happening. Clean skin and hair is a must because I love to be physical and I am a germ phobic.

Mind wise, he has to have a clue as to who he is and what he wants in life. I am not saying he has to have life planned out but he has to have some kind of a plan. I can't stand guys who are shiftless its annoying to me. He has to be smart. Stupid people suck. I prefer Dominant men. I would ideally see the perfect man as a Man who knows enough about his needs that he can integrate me into those needs. The PM should be someone who can use my varied talents to make life better for everyone involved. A man who has a plan and is consistent with everything he does. Consistency is the key. Someone who isn't afraid to tell me the truth no matter how much it might hurt me but does it in a way that he helps me to improve not tears me down. He should be a person with impeccable honor, who regulates himself, with the same heavy and appropriate hand, with which he leads those around him. Someone, who can take care of himself and those in his care, but teaches his charges to care for themselves in his absence. A PM would constantly strive to improve himself.

Action wise is a big thing. A PM understands women enough to know he needs to be strong with out being piggish. He needs to be dominant without being a asshole. Like they mentioned in maxim the other day guys don't understand that women love the big strong aggressive man but they want the big ape that knows how to stop the fights not how to start them. I love a man who knows it's the little things that makes a woman's heart flutter. I love pillow fights and shopping and getting flowers for no reason. Being told I did something right when I did. Being treated like a lady in public. Although it depends on the situation is consistency that is the issue either treat me like your princess or treat me like your property but either way treat me like I am your most important thing. I want to be touched and talked to and kissed and and and and and . there is so much I don't even no where to start.

Little quirky things I always have fantasized about is a guy making me dinner, surprises like planned trips somewhere neat (it doesn't have to be expensive just something he planned) the only really expensive thing I have ever dreamed about it being given a 1 carat heart shaped diamond that's slightly imperfect and pink (to signify beauty (the diamond in a perfect heart cut), reality (the slight imperfection in the diamond) - everything is imperfect in some way), and the pain of love (the pink tinge - for the a bleeding heart because even when you talk about true love some pain is involved) But in reality I just like little surprises that show more that he is thinking about me then that he has a lot of money to spend. I can get someone to spend money on me easy I want someone who knows me enough to really put some thought into what he says and does.

There are other things but I can't thank of it right now. Too tired. Talk to you all again soon kisses and love sulis.

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/14/2000 09:14:00 AM

Hiya!! Just wanted to say congrats to my girl Jessie on her comming baby. Hope to see ya soon, miss ya alot. And those of you who are wondering I hope to get some pics of her up on my site soon. Picture are comming I swear they are just taking longer to sort then I expected.

Damn I am really sick of people. I don't want to talk to them or see them or interact with them or anything.I just want my friends and family around, and screw everyone else. I am tired of everyone wanting something from me. I am not a fucking machine. If you want something from me you damn sure better be giving me something once in awhile in return. Thats only fair RIGHT???? I mean if you give and give and give and get nothing in return you eventually run out of things to give. Thats where I am right now. My emotional bank account is way way way overdrawn. And everyone is looking at me like what the fuck is your problem.

PoMa kissses and luck on your stuff I know how hard it has been lately, hang in there things will work out. Been there done that. Life does get better and questions do get answered. Trust me on that. I know that sounds funny comming from someone who just said FUCK THE WORLD but really I am much better now.

On a lighter note 4 more weeks and I am out of this freaking school. I got a 68% on the quiz friday babyD even beat me damn that sucked. I got all the hardware problems right but failed every single software question giggles oh well ya think it might be because i deal with hardware all day. I might be changing jobs soon and by SOON I hope like next week because I am really sick of this tech support thing. The new job pays less but they will pay for my certs and thats what I really need right now.

And for todays songs i want to go back a few years to salt n peppa No one does it better and Whatta man. Which brings me for my thought for the day. What makes a GOOD MAN? I'll post my thoughts tommorrow after I get them more together. For that matter what makes a GOOD WOMEN? I would love to hear from yall keep those emails comming cause I love the feedback.

kisses to Talent, Lexa, PoMa, D_Comic, BabyD, Kimi, Tats, Soulhuntre, Zoe, Flagg, Xed, TnT, Kat, MisterM, T, Pouncer,Pennywise,DarkWolf,[TC]Wargod, alien, alpha, ameeshia, VolleyGrl, blaze, Jessie, candyman, Mas, D-Skillz, Emile, Gunnar, laughingj35t3r, ian, kitten,lazlo, scuddy, mad4u69, marshall, neokidrgn, ravage,ric, tsubasa, taelon, tiree, Ecool and i know i am forgetting people don't mean to slight anyone if your not on the list it means you havent written in a long long time so get tooo it. Btw the list is not in any order so Dont even go there.

posted by digitalsulis @ 8/13/2000 11:53:00 AM